Well today we went to visit the orphanage, and although the visit was very pleasant, there are just some things that have us a little puzzled regarding the quality of her care in her foster home- especially with what we are starting to be aware of in her eating habits. I'll start with describing her bedtime episode last night. Last night, Kailyn was very fussy before bed, and she had been a little fussy on Monday night as well so I only thought it was due to being over stimulated, overly tired, and certainly out of her normal routine. She doesn't like to be held while going to sleep, and at nap time yesterday, she made herself comfortable on the bed and went to sleep on her own. Last night, she had stuffed herself at dinner with rice cereal, some rice and veges at the restaurant we ate at, some of the hotdog bun that David didn't finish, cheerios, and several bites of Mc Flurry (found the McDonald's- yes their chicken nuggets taste the same:) - and this is just dinner. Not to mention everything else our little 18 pound baby girl had eaten that day. At about 8:30 she became inconsolable. I knew it was her bedtime but there was nothing I could do to calm her. She won't be held when she is that tired, she cries if you put her down, she didn't want her bottle. Finally I put her in the crib to let her just fuss and hopefully fall asleep soon as she did the night before. But she didn't. Finally I saw that her snack trap that held her Cheerios was empty- her constant companion. So I filled it full and handed it to her in the bed. She instantly calmed, ate a few, and went to sleep with the snack trap held tightly in hand. Today has been no different. She has eaten more today than both of my boys combined. She has learned to dig the box of butter cookies out of the suitcase, and if we are not in the hotel she needs to have food in hand or in sight.
Then today at the orphanage, we met the 3 orphanage staff again that we had seen at the civil affairs building. They had the orphanage chef prepare a fine authentic Chinese meal for us. We ate upstairs in the office building ( unair- conditioned as we are finding to be typical) and the food was wonderful. We asked how far away kailyn's foster home was and they said it was too far out of the way to go there. However, they had invited the foster mother to come to the orphanage instead. She was 62 years old, and she showed up without a vehicle and on foot- but it was too far? When she approached Kailyn and talked with her, she didn't show any signs of attachment to this woman, and in fact she reached back for me instead. That just doesn't add up in my mind if Kailyn had lived with her for 16 months. But maybe she just did't spend much time with her. I don't know. Later, 3 children came by whom they told us also lived with the foster mother and Kailyn seemed at least to recognize them. Then, we asked to see where kailyn had spent her first month and they showed us an old room that they said was now storage. Now this institute is an SWI- where both children and elderly people are housed. They said that the children were now all in foster homes- except for about 20 severe special needs children who stayed at the orphanage who were "unsuitable for adoption.". Unsuitable for adoption. I can' t forget that phrase. It isn't like a Child has one choice in the way they are born, so how can any child be deemed unsuitable to have a family. So anyway, we didn't see anywhere where there actually were children or where Kailyn had stayed-except for the old room they had told us that was being used when she was first found. There were no other staff that we saw in the building we were in and the place was quiet. Now this building was surrounded by dorm looking buildings where i know at least the elderly people resided. She was found at the gate of the orphanage when she was two days old, a common place for parents to abandon their children so at least they will be found by the orphanage. Anyway, we are still processing this, and it just seems like we didn't see much of anything. Anything that mattered. The other thing that has drawn our attention is the flat part on the back of her head, where we also see that her hair is a little thinner and shorter than the rest. So how long ago was it that she spent so much time on her back? This I think would be more typical of a child in an orphanage than in foster care at 17 months old. But hmm, just don't know what to think. Kailyn definitely has much more development than a child who had spent their entire life in an orphanage.
On a lighter note, Kailyn is doing so well, and I suppose she might outgrow her clothes before we leave China at the rate she is eating! Twelve months fits perfect by the way- for all you who gave us clothes- thank you! She is precious. There is no other word. And smart. She will let you know what she wants as well and isn't afraid to throw a little fit- especially when she wants to get down and run around somewhere or doesn't want to let go of an object. She is fascinated with the toilet and this morning I didn't reach her before she had both hands in it! Clean water thankfully. She loves to play in the plastic tub the hotel gave us to use- empty I mean. She just likes to get in, get out, over and over. So cute. Now, if she isn't tired I can move freely around the room as long as I am in her sight, but she has to be in the same room with me at all times. I guess this is good- clinginess, a beginner step toward working toward real attachment.
And last- here are some other things that I don't want to forget about our stay. For time sake I ams just going to list:
Power lines- run through trees or wrapped around buildings, often appearing as though in knots! Hmmm, safe?
You see lots of young people in the public jobs- restaurants, hotels, airlines. We asked our guide about this and she said that those types of jobs actually do have age discrimination as well as and attractiveness requirement! Makes me thankful for our anti- discrimination laws.
I haven't figured this all out yet, but people who have jobs of authority are in police uniform- male or female. This has included jobs like airport security - all young people-, people who did Kailyns' passport, odd jobs you wouldn't think of as police jobs. I am sure it is probably to do with it being gov. Jobs.
Not everyone gets to go to college here. You really have to have good academic records to apply. But I haven't seen the first person slacking in their job here. It really is amazing. It has made me thankful for so much in our own country, but also made me appreciate many aspects of their way of life and how they don't take opportunities for granted.
Smelly streets. Esp around alley ways. May be food- may be sewage.
Lots of construction- anywhere and everywhere. From the big city of Nanchang, to the rural Shanggao county where we went today. But funny- it is like they might start a building, then just decide to quit and build somewhere else. There are so many old abandoned buildings.
There are apartment buildings and groups that would house the Helena/Pelham/ alabaster area. No lie. It is unbelievable. People are everywhere. Our guide said china's population is 1.3 billion!
There are little Buddha statues every where. In every taxi, van, restaurant. Our guid said these statues are to ward off the evil spirits. Jiangxi, the province we are in- is where Buddhism started in China, and the home of Zen buddhism.
We have found it easier to post pics on my Facebook page. Please visit- Amy Wilkerson to see some
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