Visit to Shanggao County Orphanage July 31

Well today we went to visit the orphanage, and although the visit was very pleasant, there are just some things that have us a little puzzled regarding the quality of her care in her foster home- especially with what we are starting to be aware of in her eating habits.  I'll start with describing her bedtime episode last night.  Last night, Kailyn was very fussy before bed, and she had been a little fussy on Monday night as well so I only thought it was due to being over stimulated, overly tired, and certainly out of her normal routine.  She doesn't like to be held while going to sleep, and at nap time yesterday, she made herself comfortable on the bed and went to sleep on her own.  Last night, she had stuffed herself at dinner with rice cereal, some rice and veges at the restaurant we ate at, some of the hotdog bun that David didn't finish, cheerios, and several bites of Mc Flurry (found the McDonald's- yes their chicken nuggets taste the same:) - and this is just dinner.  Not to mention everything else our little 18 pound baby girl had eaten that day.  At about 8:30 she became inconsolable.  I knew it was her bedtime but there was nothing I could do to calm her.  She won't be held when she is that tired, she cries if you put her down, she didn't want her bottle.  Finally I put her in the crib to let her just fuss and hopefully fall asleep soon as she did the night before.  But she didn't.  Finally I saw that her snack trap that held her Cheerios was  empty- her constant companion.  So I filled it full and handed it to her in the bed.  She instantly calmed, ate a few, and went to sleep with the snack trap held tightly in hand.  Today has been no different.  She has eaten more today than both of my boys combined.  She has learned to dig the box of butter cookies out of the suitcase, and if we are not in the hotel she needs to have food in hand or in sight.

Then today at the orphanage, we met the 3 orphanage staff again that we had seen at the civil affairs building.  They had the orphanage chef prepare a fine authentic Chinese meal for us. We ate upstairs in the office building ( unair- conditioned as we are finding to be typical) and the food was wonderful.  We asked how far away kailyn's foster home was and they said it was too far out of the way to go there.  However, they had invited the foster mother to come to the orphanage instead.  She was 62 years old, and she showed up without a vehicle and on foot- but it was too far?   When she approached Kailyn and talked with her, she didn't show any signs of attachment to this woman, and in fact she reached back for me instead.  That just doesn't add up in my mind if Kailyn had lived with her for 16 months.  But maybe she just did't spend much time with her.  I don't know.  Later, 3 children came by whom they told us also lived with the foster mother and Kailyn seemed at least to recognize them.   Then, we asked to see where kailyn had spent her first month and they showed us an old room that they said was now storage.  Now this institute is an SWI- where both children and elderly people are housed.  They said that the children were now all in foster homes- except for about 20 severe special needs children who stayed at the orphanage who were "unsuitable for adoption.". Unsuitable for adoption.  I can' t forget that phrase.  It isn't like a Child has one choice in the way they are born, so how can any child be deemed unsuitable to have a family.  So anyway, we didn't see anywhere where there actually were children or where Kailyn had stayed-except for the old room they had told us that was being used when she was first found.  There were no other staff that we saw in the building we were in and the place was quiet.  Now this building was surrounded by dorm looking buildings where i know at least the elderly people resided.  She was found at the gate of the orphanage when she was two days old, a common place for parents to abandon their children so at least they will be found by the orphanage.  Anyway, we are still processing this, and it just seems like we didn't see much of anything. Anything that mattered.  The other thing that has drawn our attention is the flat part on the back of her head, where we also see that her hair is a little thinner and shorter than the rest.  So how long ago was it that she spent so much time on her back? This I think would be more typical of a child in an orphanage than in foster care at 17 months old.   But hmm, just don't know what to think.  Kailyn definitely has much more development than a child who had spent their entire life in an orphanage.

On a lighter note, Kailyn is doing so well, and I suppose she might outgrow her clothes before we leave China at the rate she is eating!  Twelve months fits perfect by the way- for all you who gave us clothes- thank you!  She is precious.  There is no other word.  And smart.  She will let you know what she wants as well and isn't afraid to throw a little fit- especially when she wants to get down and run around somewhere or doesn't want to let go of an object.  She is fascinated with the toilet and this morning I didn't reach her before she had both hands in it!  Clean water thankfully.  She loves to play in the plastic tub the hotel gave us to use- empty I mean.  She just likes to get in, get out, over and over.  So cute.  Now, if she isn't tired I can move freely around the room as long as I am in her sight, but she has to be in the same room with me at all times.  I guess this is good- clinginess, a beginner step toward working toward real attachment.

And last- here are some other things that I don't want to forget about our stay.  For time sake I ams just going to list:

Power lines- run through trees or wrapped around buildings, often appearing as though in knots! Hmmm, safe?

You see lots of young people in the public jobs- restaurants, hotels, airlines.  We asked our guide about this and she said that those types of jobs actually do have age  discrimination as well as and attractiveness requirement! Makes me thankful for our anti- discrimination laws.

I haven't figured this all out yet, but people who have jobs of authority are in police uniform- male or female.  This has included jobs like airport security - all young people-, people who did Kailyns' passport, odd jobs you wouldn't think of as police jobs.  I am sure it is probably to do with it being gov. Jobs.

Not everyone gets to go to college here.  You really have to have good academic records to apply. But I haven't seen the first person slacking in their job here.  It really is amazing.  It has made me thankful for so much in our own country, but also made me appreciate many aspects of their way of life and how they don't take opportunities for granted.

Smelly streets.  Esp around alley ways.  May be food- may be sewage.

Lots of construction- anywhere and everywhere.  From the big city of Nanchang, to the rural Shanggao county where we went today.  But funny- it is like they might start a building, then just decide to quit and build somewhere else.  There are so many old abandoned buildings.

There are apartment buildings and groups that would house the Helena/Pelham/ alabaster area.  No lie.  It is unbelievable.  People are everywhere.  Our guide said china's population is 1.3 billion!

There are little Buddha statues every where.  In every taxi, van, restaurant.  Our guid said these statues are to ward off the evil spirits.  Jiangxi, the province we are in- is where Buddhism started in China, and the home of Zen buddhism.

We have found it easier to post pics on my Facebook page.  Please visit- Amy Wilkerson to see some

Tuesday July 30

Last night was a great night with Kailyn.  It was the first full night of sleep Andrew and I have had since we left home.  Andrew did get up to give her a paci when she had kicked off her covers, but I never knew about it.  She woke up in a great mood and hungry.  I gave her some formula and then went down to our amazing breakfast buffet where she feasted again on steamed eggs, peaches, and congee.  Then she helped Joseph finish the last bites of his pancake:). Today has been a relaxing day and she is passed out right now on the bed for a good nap.  She is such a little trooper and good natured.  I don't see how we could have a little girl who is any sweeter.  This morning we took a taxi ( without a guide!) to a beautiful public park called the People's park i think.  There were ponds, paths, beautiful trees and a playground area, where we were once again greeted with smiles and people who wanted to have their pictures made with us.  We also saw some people meditating and a group of elderly people playing cards in the shade.  Joseph was asked to join a group of boys his age for a picture and a younger boy wanted to follow David around everywhere and took the opportunity to reach out and touch David's shoulder.  David didn't know what to think!  Some of the playground
equipment was actually workout equipment. I guess that could be an efficient way to stay healthy if you are taking your kids to the playground anyway:)  It is very hot here and when i say hot, i don't mean like what we have in the south, I mean like you walk out and it is heavily steamy hot always.  There is a breeze sometime, but even it is a hot breeze.  So we can't stay our anywhere for very long and we are going through water like crazy.  I guess between walking everywhere and the heat that is how the people here are all so slim.  Also, except for our hotel, every other building seems to conserve energy by not running air in rooms not in being used at the moment and not in elevators and hallways!  When we had all then heat we could handle at the park, for the first time ever in our lives we had to flag a taxi and show him our hotel card to give us a ride back to the hotel.  We had to split up and take two taxis- andrew and the boys in one and Sherry, Kailyn, and i in another- but we did make it back:). Our guide had to go back to the notary this morning to get another signature so she couldn't go with us.  Most people here can at least speak some English, and our guide told us that the schools begin teaching the children English now in the first grade.

Kailyn is starting to warm up to Andrew and will even run up to him now holding her arms up- but if he gets to hold her it is only for a second- but bring we've only had her since Sunday I'd say that is good progress.  We can see that being in a foster home has worked tremendously to our advantage.  Her family, motor, and cognitive skills attest to that.  Today she even mimicked some of my gestures as we were watching each other in the mirror!  I couldn't believe it! What I can't understand is her lack of grieving.  As I mentioned before, she whimpered on Sunday when she caught a glimpse of her foster mother in the photo album, but nothing since then.  I know that even though she is doing exceptionally well with us, we will have to help her understand her past as she gets older and allow her some healthy grieving.  But I am thankful that for now, she won't go to any other female but me and even turns away quickly from them.

The boys continue to be outstanding big brothers, helping me get what she needs and looking out for her at times.  They love her already.

That is all for now and Kailyn is waking up.  - oh another new experience- this afternoon I washed the equivalent of a medium load of clothes in the bathtub!  sherry and I decided that since the hotel laundry revise is expensive, and sending laundry out might risk some of our clothes getting lost, we'd just do it ourselves.  What a funny sight it is right now in the bathroom!

For pictures see my Facebook page- Amy Wilkerson

Reflections of a very proud and a very humbled Father

First off, I want to say a huge thank you to all of you who have been praying for us through this journey. Your prayers have certainly been felt and many undoubtedly answered. God has definitely shown His faithfulness. I would say so far, things really could not have went any better. The boys are doing great, Kailyn is doing far better than I had expected, and the food has actually been pretty good.

As always in seeing more of God, we always see more of ourselves, with clarity and in the right perspective (which is normally what we do not have). One thing we noticed about her is that her head is asymmetrical in that the back is flatter than it should be (which is common among children from orphanages). This is a clear indication that she has spent a lot of time (typically an extreme amount) laying down on her back.

Now many of our initial reactions is a very passionate response and is something like, "how can anyone leave a baby on their back all day?" or "what kind of person leaves a baby unattended most of the day?" In these last few days, God has showed me EXACTLY what kind of person would do this. SOMEONE JUST LIKE ME! Why are the countless orphans just like her around the world lying on their backs all day? Because I (and other "Christians" just like me) am so focused on myself and my own selfish desires that I don't see them! They are out-of-sight and out-of-mind in MY world and I am consumed with my own desires. It is interesting that we say in church all the time "I am the one who crucified Christ," but we never really take that to heart; meaning we say it almost flippantly. We say that but NEVER say things like "the reason there are 147 million orphans around the world is because of ME and my hard heart" or "the reason Shelby County DHR DESPERATELY needs foster families is because I don't care about them, and I would rather have fun in my own world" or "the reason 9 million people in Nanchang China (where we are today) will live their whole lives and NEVER hear His Great Name is because of me and my lack of caring." VERY REAL WORDS I NEED TO HEAR and hope I never forget!

So then I ask, "why have I never seen things like this before?" Thank God He clearly answers that question in Scripture! The reason is I DID NOT WANT TO SEE! I only saw how & what I wanted to see! John 7:37 says (Jesus speaking), "If anyone's WILL is to do God's will, then HE WILL KNOW..."  He shows clearly that in order to see truth rightly, we must desire to see rightly. If we don't have the right desires, then we can never see rightly. The reality for me is that I have found more pleasure and satisfaction in many other things, even in things considered "good things" by our church culture, than in the PURE JOY of seeing God through loving these other children! I have desired to "live a good life" (even by church standards) instead of living a Christ saturated, mission oriented, and all satisfying life. There are no excuses and nothing or no one else to blame but myself! My will was NOT to do God's will, therefore I could not see rightly!

So now, I can see myself more clearly than even and can identify with Paul in saying of myself, "What a wretched man I am! Who will save me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Rm 7:24-25).

The reality is that I cannot change my own heart! I need a SAVIOR to do that! My prayer is becoming all the more stronger to be "Oh God, please change my heart to no longer find pleasure in things that do not matter! Show me how great you are so I can clearly see how trivial and meaningless everything else I pursue really is! DO NOT LET ME WASTE MY LIFE! May I lose NONE that you have given me (John 6:39). May I experience the true joy and satisfaction that only you can give and be satisfied with no other phony substitute."

I have a LONG way to go....but He is faithful and never let's go!
Andrew

Monday July 29

Yesterday (Sunday)the orphanage staff brought Kailyn to our room at 4:00 pm.  We knew she was coming around that time but we were expecting to get a call first, so when we got the knock on the door, we were surprised to see that she was here!  She seems to be adjusting to us very well.  When she first arrived, Sara our guide was showing me the picture album That the orphanage had made for us- she saw the picture of her foster mother and teared up and whimpered.  We hated to see her sadness but also glad to know that she may have been taken care of well enough for her to be attached to them.  This means that she will also be able to bond with us pretty easily as well. The orphanage staff said that she had thrown up on the ride over (2 hours) and thought it may have been car sickness, but then last night at midnight she woke up and threw up again!  What a night.  Otherwise i think she would have slept right on through.  She had taken formula and rice cereal last night and eaten very well.  Today she seems to be doing fine though and has held down everything we've given her.  She is a hearty little eater and so far is taking her formula, rice cereal, bananas, peaches, congee, steamed eggs, cheerios and she LOVES the butter cookies I brought with us!  It doesn't look like we are going to have feeding problems:) She also walks very well and loves to lead me or the boys around by holding our finger.   We have to watch her because she is very curios and wants to explore everything!  One game that she likes is handing things to you and then you handing whatever it is back to her over and over again.  She also loves to feed us some of her Cheerios and the game of peek a boo makes her smile:)

Kailyn has had fun with the toys we brought, stacking cups and books, and the wind up musical giraffe was her favorite from the start. She took to me very quickly and just now is getting to where I can be more than a couple of feet away.  She has wanted NOTHING to do with Andrew but right now she is sitting next to me and allowing Andrew to play and interact with her.  The boys love her and watch out for her.

This morning we went to the Civil Affairs to get finish making the adoption final.  We are now Kailyn's legal parents!  We got to meet three of orphanage staff and have our picture made with them.  They seemed like very nice and caring people.  Then we had to have Kailyn's passport pictures made.  She didn't like that at all but eventually we got some that we're acceptable.  Tomorrow we may do some sight seeing, and then on Wednesday we visit Kailyn's orphanage.  We learned that she only lived there for one month and then was put into foster care with a woman, her son and his wife and children.

That is all for now and in a  few we have to go to a notary and then we are going to visit a tower that is the symbol of Nanchang.  Sherry was good enough to sit with the boys this morning while Andrew and I took care of business so we are glad to give everyone a chance to get out of the hotel today.

No luck in getting pics on this one yet.  You can see pics on my Facebook page:)

Nanchang July 27-28

Sunday July 28
Last night we ( Sara, our awesome guide, Sherry and myself) took the trek to Walmart (yes a real Walmart) to buy a few things.  What an experience:).

Walking through the town is a constant avoidance of getting run over by all the traffic and motorists which seemingly operate by the rules of survival of the fittest!  But Sara knows how to navigate and we arrived at the Walmart safely.  The store was located on the 3 rd floor of a shopping building and even inside was noisy and crowded just like the streets outside.  The store atmosphere was much like that of a street market, with salespeople approaching you to sell you products from the store and if you wanted to bag your groceries you had to pay for each bag!

The city is unbelievably huge and seems to go on forever, as does the population.  People are literally everywhere- Sara said it was a population of 6 million (sorry facebook friends for the wrong info i posted on that:)  The people here are wonderfully nice, though in passing you won't notice many smiles or laughter.  I think that is just the normal social manner.  They all seem to take great pride and attention to their jobs- whatever they are doing.  I really can't say enough what a wonderful experience we've had and how impressive the Chinese people are.  The streets are dirty, extremely cluttered and crowded, yet enchantingly beautiful at the same time.   I wish you could be here to see and experience what we are.  It truly is a different world.

The city is not without it's heartbreaking scenes though.  As we have walked the streets we've passed an elderly woman begging on the street, many other homeless people, a man burned beyond human recognition making noises to beg for money, and a man washing clothes in one of the street drains.  We also were able to see  the park where there is a monument to the end of the revolution where the communists took control and defeated the nationalist party in 1927.  This is a symbol of independence and freedom here.  

This morning we went to the bank of China to exchange the money we will need to finish the adoption.  Everywhere we go, we are like Mickey and Minnie in Disney world as everyone stares at our light brown and blond hair, the smile, point, and if they know any English they will quickly greet us with hello.  The culture is worlds different, but as people, we are no different.  Children who were waiting with parents in the bank had just as hard of a time not climbing the walls as our on and of course we were greeted with many smiles and stares there as well.


Our hotel (right picture) has a glass elevator on the outside of the building that you can ride all the way up-28 floors!  Of course the boys love that!  It reminds me of the flying glass elevator at the end of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!  We can see forever from so high and we even spotted the world's largest ferris wheel here in Nanchang that we had read about before at home!

Now we are relaxing in our super luxurious hotel room, that afforded us a crib to use and a stroller -and in a few hours the orphanage admin will bring our little Kailyn to us, the we'll have to do some paperwork.  We are so excited!



PS: Some of us got sleep on the plane and others got a total of 2 hours in a 36 hour period. I will let you guess who slept and who did not...

Y

We're Here!

Thursday, July 25, 6:30pm.  We have had a good start to the trip so far as   are due to arrive in Los Angeles in less than one hour.  The boys have done wonderfully on their first leg of the journey.  After arriving at the Atlanta airport, we did start off with one hiccup that gave us a little difficulty but thankfully the airport was able to resolve! No more stress needed here!  We were unable to print my boarding pass to begin with because the system showed me as carrying a lap child- which of course we do not have yet.  The system was showing that my pass could not be found even though my name was clearly on the fight itinerary and we had explained to our travel agency that our lap child only needed to be added for the return flights.  This was confusing for the computer system apparently so it took us an extra 30 minutes to get that resolved before we could go through security.  Andrew and i were sweating a little over this.  But now we are almost to LA where we will have about 3.5 hours until we leave for China!

 Saturday, July 27 China time (Friday, July 26 11:41am USA time). We have 4 hours until Guangzhou, then a flight to Nanchang which will put us arriving there at 9:25 am China time on Saturday.  It has been interesting as we have literally been chasing the sun, flying from night to night, and I love being able to follow the map on the tv screens on the  back of our seats that show where we are flying.  The flight has gone as well as any 15 hour flight could, we've all had minutes here and there of sleep, which should make for an interesting first day.  But the good thing is that we will have all day Saturday free so we can nap and try to  get settled into our new environment.   Joseph and David have done wonderfully.  Kailyn, it won't be long now:). We are praying that you won't be afraid of us and that you'll enjoy our family as much as we are going to love having you!

Saturday 2:30. We are now settling in to the hotel and are all pretty tired.  We've essentially been awake now for about 35 hrs!  How we are still functioning is beyond me.  The boys did however sleep a few hours on the plane.

Nanchang is a very large city and driving through and it is evident of the large population just driving through the crowded city streets.   It is very hot and humid here and many of the people carry umbrellas as they walk the streets  to provide shade.   I cant remember exactly how many millions of people live here but I will ask my guide again later.  This evening we will be going to Walmart (we actually passed two super centers on our to the hotel from the airport- though not stand alone by any means). We will have a 15 minute walk there to get bottled water, diapers, formula, and whatever else we want there this evening. We also passed quite a few KFC's of all things and so that is where we will eat this evening, mainly for the boys's sake.  Then tomorrow afternoon, some people from Kailyn's orphanage will bring her to us at the hotel!

All is well!!

Just wanted to say thank you again for all the prayers!  We all seem to be feeling much better today and Joseph is wanting to play again like usual!  We are soooooo thankful!!  

Much to do:)

Amy

Please, please,please keep praying and itinerary!

Hi readers,

I just want to thank you all first for praying for us!  We still really need them! For all the kind words and offers for help and for meals!  It means so much!  David and I seem to be on the downhill slope of this nasty virus, but Joseph has literally been on the couch all day hugging a plastic bowl.  This virus is soooo strange.  Yesterday I thought Joseph was the one getting well-but today he is the worst!! Maybe the storm before the calm.  David did the same thing on Friday-played big-then friday night vomited and ran fever, then by today is playing more again.  Joseph has had only a pedia-pop.  Please pray for our health on this trip.  If David seems to relapse in the morning then I am definitely taking them to the doc just to make sure this isn't something other than what I have.   What a nightmare it would be to be contagious and have to worry about giving Kailyn a virus.  We have however packed nothing short of a small pharmacy and antibiotics ready for everyone of us!    

I also thought I'd share our itinerary while we are in China.  It kind of gives you an idea of what goes on during the required two weeks you are in China picking up your child.  The free days can be used for sight seeing as well as any other free times that you do not have to be at an appointment.  The two weeks is great as well because it gives time for you and the child to get to know each other, give at least some adjustment time and for you to get to know her country before before you haul her off on a plane to your strange country.

Jul.27 Arrive in Nanchang  by flight

         Airport transfer and check in Hotel

Jul.28 Receive the baby in the afternoon  !!!

Jul.29 (Mon)   Adoption registration and notarization

Jul.30-Aug.01 other adoption process 

Aug.02 (Fri).  get child's passport

Aug.03 (Sat)  Nanchang - Guangzhou by flight, flight no. 

Aug.04 (Sun)-  Free

Aug.05 (Mon). Medical exam and immunization

Aug.06 (Sun) Free 

Aug.07   10:00am appointment with the Guangzhou Consulate /

Aug.08   15:00 Get baby's visa/

Aug.09    Departure for the states

Amy

Prayers Please!

As it turns out, the week before we leave for China, as we are trying to get all the last minute things done, the house in order, our bags backed, the boys and I have come down with some type of fever virus-David starting on Tuesday (with vomiting at the zoo because of what I thought was a food issue from Monday-and may have been)-David still fighting fever and vomited again all over the couch last night after we thought he was well.  He had no fever yesterday but then started back up last night after he threw up.  Joseph started fighting fever on Wednesday, and me on Thursday.  We thought everyone was starting to get better yesterday but apparently not.  Thankfully, Andrew is well and is taking on my monster walmart trip for the remaining days we are home and to stock us up well for when we return.  I hope he can handle it:) So anyway, whether this could be some type of spiritual warfare or just the latest virus going around, we would love to have your prayers that we could be well preferably a few days before we leave, and that Andrew wouldn't get it!!

In perfect timing, this verse was part of the passage I read this morning, and I was reminded that God is glorified when we rely on His strength and not our own to accomplish His purposes. 

2 Corinthians 12 :9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Now to try and steam the smell out of the couch:)

Amy

9 Days and Counting!

This will probably be my last post until we are on the way to China!  Only 9 days to travel and only 12 days until we will HAVE Kailyn!

I have recently connected with a local family who actually has the same travel dates that we do and the same consulate appointment date!  So we may meet this family in Guangzhou!  For any of you who are in the process or thinking of adopting internationally this is another wonderful blog that I will had to our list on the right side of our page.  Great story.

Choosing to See

The last thought that I would like to leave you with is what I wanted to have straight in my mind as well-why are we doing what we are doing?  And this is it....


We believe that adopting a child is God's plan for our family according to His leading in our lives.  God's word tells us that we too can be adopted into God's family through faith in God's one and only son, Jesus Christ, who He sent to die in our place for our sins.  Ephesians 1:5


Until China,

Amy