How informed are you?

Dear readers,

As the time grows nearer for God to reveal our daughter to us, it is almost impossible for me to be able to focus on much of anything else.   To those who were in the process of adopting from Russia, our hearts break for you and for your child.  In our hearts Kailyn is ours already-and I know that this is from the Lord.  It makes no sense otherwise, to love a child that you've never seen or met.  To know that she is waiting, she has already been ushered into this world, and for whatever reason, has been left to wait-for her forever family to bring her to her forever home.  We are (ok mainly myself) in full nesting mode-from wanting to clean out the house of every excess thing that exists, to cleaning, to reading like crazy, to working on her Life Book, to thinking about travel concerns and making lists of things we'll need for her.  Anyway, you get the picture.  But mostly I am amazed at the burden God has placed on my heart for the MILLIONS of children just like our beloved Kailyn Mari who will not be coming home with us.   And already God is preparing our hearts that our burden for orphans will not end with her homecoming.

As people have asked us about our journey, and particularly about China, I have come to realize just how little this gigantic world problem is actually in front of our eyes.   The realities that so many children have to call "their world" are simply unknown and unadvertised to us-and this is most concerning when it comes to God's people, the church.  Certainly, it is not at the forefront of the news, yet everyday innocent, helpless children are left in a world removed from the love, nurturing, and guidance of a set of parents.   The more Andrew and I have sat through required training, read parenting books, and talked to others who have witnessed first-hand the realities of orphan life, the more we have realized that the heartbreaking bits of information that we hear, are actually true and represent the present realities of children all over the world today.  

In my daily study right now, I been reading the minor prophets, and am now going through the book of Isaiah.  In these books the heart of God is clearly and repeatedly revealed for the poor, the fatherless, and widows, and He is abundantly clear that His intent is that His people:

Isaiah 1:17
¹⁷ "learn to do good;
seek justice,
    correct oppression;
bring justice to the fatherless,
    plead the widow's cause."      

But how can we seek justice for those who we know nothing about?    So with that thought I would like to encourage you-just to take some time (whether God leads you to adopt or not) to do some research on orphans throughout the world and just let God burden your heart for them in prayer.  Another way to really come to understand the world of these children is to read a parenting book in which you will come to see the conditions of their life that cause many of the issues that they bring with them into a forever home.  Here are some issues that we have been prepared for consistently.  

fear of abandonment
abuse (within orphanages and foster homes)
neglect - in China it is commonly 1 caregiver to 50 orphans
lack of human interaction
not enough food even in orphanage care
lack of medical care
lack of stimulation (many spend most of the day in beds, particularly the young-for lack of caregivers and safety.  Some may have never been outside.)
lack of mobility (a social worker we know visited an orphange in China this year where (for safety) the children were tied to their beds
high tolerance for pain (because there is not enough caregivers to tend their needs)
attachment disorder (because there has been no one to attach too)
indiscriminate attachment (because there is no consistent caregiver)
silent babies (because no one responds)

Can you picture the face of your biological child in their shoes?  What lengths would you go to in order to bring them home?  Would there be any limit of what you wouldn't do?

Finally, am going to link this post to a much earlier post written by Andrew that talks about why we chose the country of China and contains a moving video.   This post contains statistics about orphans from China and other countries around the world.

Why China?

If you are seriously considering adoption-here are some books that were recommended to me that I am currently reading and are extremely helpful:

The Connected Child
The Hurt Child
Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child

Amy

Nesting...and pics

February will be here before we know it and that is the month-the end of the month when we will begin the process of selecting our daughter!!  That reality has got me so excited and I'll have to say very anxious as well.  I have been working on both her room and our boys room forever it seems.  The boys room is finally done!  It has been such a job to neatly combine all of their belongings into one room and closet.   I wanted enough separation for all of their things-clothes and toys-to provide both ownership and accountability for their belongings.  The boys have been sleeping in the same room in bunk beds (which you can see that we don't make them up often-it is a workout)  ever since we moved David out of his crib and into a "big boy" bed.  But we've had the luxury of keeping the toys and clothes scattered between the two bedrooms.   I have been doing so much painting!  I painted the boys' furniture red and bought some stair boards and wooden brackets that Andrew screwed together and then I painted them as well. But finally, it is done.  Kailyn's room is finished as well except for a small shelf I am painting and a picture with her name on it that I plan to have done soon.    I haven't hung the curtains either so that they won't hang there collecting dust for months.  But I feel so accomplished in how far we've gotten that I wanted to go ahead and post a few pictures of the rooms!!

Kailyn's dresser is the dresser we bought out of the paper used when we lived in Dothan.  Andrew painted it when I was expecting Joseph and it has been our baby furniture ever since.  I think the cream will work for a girl for quite a while though.  The bookshelf below was a 10.00 find at kids market and I painted it and the bedside table to match.  The small shelf I am repainting was mine when I was a teenager.  I intend to fill the shelf with finds from China to add a little heritage to her room!   I am not sure if we'll use a babybed at first or not (which we have).  It will depend on her age.  If she is 2-3, we'll likely do with her what we did for Joseph.  The mattress and box springs on the floor against the wall with a bedrail-so she is closed in on 3 sides.  This way there is a bed big enough for co-sleeping at first if necessary.  (A very real likelihood and recommendation for forming attachment to the parents. )   We have never let our boys sleep with us except when traveling or when they are sick.  But we've never really had an issue with it either.  It isn't something I look forward to-it just means she'll be sleeping and I won't. 

Besides the room, now that the paperwork process is done, I have been trying to use my free moments to read other peoples adoption blogs, and review some of the training we have been through.  I just ordered three adoption parenting books that were recommended and I hope to find enough time to read at least most of them before we travel.  I feel as if I am preparing for a final exam where the professor has just told me to just know everything.  And that is not realistic or even necessary-but I think that is just the nesting mode that I am in.   And the language!?!  I have heard that the children pick up the new language so fast-but I hate the helpless feeling of not being able to communicate fluently with her.   There is just so much that you should and could prepare for and no way to know exactly what you may encounter.  But this is just where I have to trust that God will lead us to prepare exactly the way we need to because He knows exactly who Kailyn will be and what she will need!  

Amy