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I am writing this post the day after I mailed the dossier to final approvals at US Dept of State and the Chinese consulate. I feel so relieved just not having the responsibility of those requirements and documentations hanging over my head at all times. I also want to take a moment to say what a wonderful experience we've had with our adoption agency-Villa Hope. It is a small agency, that almost no one has even heard of. But when Andrew and I were ready to begin this process, small and personal were what we were after, and a warm, friendly service is what we have gotten. As frustrating as the process can be at times, our social workers have always been prompt and courteous about returning phone calls and emails and making sure we have everything we need. We also have a wonderful social worker who did our home study with us and who will be seeing us again once we have our little girl (Kailyn, by the way) for follow up visits. She herself was adopted from S.Korea as an infant and now works to help other families in the adoption process.
As far as the next step-we learned that technically, Andrew and I could actually begin the selection process at the end of this month. However, once you accept a child, China requires that you finish the process within six months (that means have picked up the child and everything final.) This would be wonderful if it were only Andrew and I to think of. But if we were to accept a referral in October, we may possibly be traveling to get her in April-only weeks before school lets out. The issue with this is that from all of our studies-not to mention highly encouraged by the social workers-what is best for a newly internationally adopted child is that you become somewhat of a hermit with the child for a minimum of one month-and most likely several months after. This is because most, if not all children who've spent much time in institutional life like an orphanage are going to have attachment/bonding issues. Children who've lived in an orphanage for more than a few months have learned that they must be indiscriminate in their attachments-because of the large number of children that must be cared for by so few caregivers and the rotation of caregivers in their lives. They must be willing to receive care from whom ever in their life who will give it. In addition, children will have to learn to bond to a set of parents. Bonding may be something a child living within an orphanage has NEVER experienced. Aside from any medical needs that the child will have when she gets here, attachment is the first and foremost priority in her adjustment to a new life with us. There is a chance that we could get a child whose been in a foster home, and if so, the chances of her having developed a bond with the foster parent is greater. That would also be hard for Kailyn as well, having those memories, but she will likely be able to develop attachment to us much easier.
So all that explanation to say- we will likely not begin looking at referrals until January or February-so that our travel time will likely fall around July 2013 or after. That way, I will be free with the boys to do all the things we normally do this summer-pools, parks, zoo, McWayne, playmates- and then pick up our little girl, send the boys to school, and have lots of one on one bonding time with Kailyn.
As I started to see the light at the end of the paperwork tunnel I have been amazed at how my emotions have strengthened. We already think of Kailyn as our daughter and anxiously wait for the day we meet her. Adopting through China's special needs program, we can be fairly certain of the time frame that we will see our daughter. I honestly cannot imagine being one of those parents who are waiting indefinitely for adoptions in other countries who don't have everything so nicely laid out as China. I would think it would be utter misery to not know when/if your turn was coming soon.
I want to leave you with a song that I LOVE! And truly, this pretty much sums up the way I feel today!
Amy
This blog post is to answer the question Andrew and I have gotten over and over again about international adoption, "Why does it take so long?" If you are like we were, we really just had no idea what goes into the international adoption process, so hopefully this will give an idea to any of you who may be considering. In our case, we have had a few weeks here and there where things the process could have moved a little faster (at least as far as the paperwork end of it goes) if it weren't for some things that came up that needed our immediate attention. And then we've had several notaries use wrong dates, counties put wrong dates, or mark things out, which is not acceptable. No white out allowed. But that's just part of it.
Now we are finally getting to the point where our minds can actually start to dwell a little more heavily on the reality that in a few months (ideally Summer 2013) we will bring home our little girl. Up till now, I personally have felt reminded of my days working in public accounting -where some of the paperwork, while required, seems excessive and even redundant, and every "i" must be dotted and every "t" crossed. Very soon, we will be sending this over whelming package of work to the Chinese Consulate. And I hope not to see another form after that for a while.
So anyway, from when we started in January to where we are now-almost ready for our Dossier to be sent to the Chinese consulate-this has been our process.
Initial Application with our Agency-Villa Hope
Fingerprinting at local police station/background checks with Alabama Department of Human Resources
First package: Requirements for Formal application to Adopt in Alabama-Also Requirements in order to be assigned social worker for Home Study
1. Personal Financial Statement
2. Copy of 3 most recent 1040 Federal Tax Forms
3. Medical Reports (required for parents and children-i.e. physicals)
4. Pet Vaccination Record (so that meant for us catching up on those minor vaccines so that we could turn in our updated pet vaccine record)
5. Statement of Motivation
6. Our Child Statement
7. Employer Letter-notarized
8. Photographs of family, front and back of home
9. Proof of health insurance, and insurance for adopted child
10. Guardianship letter-notarized (friends who've agreed to act care for the child in the even of parent's death)
11. Conviction statement
12. Identification verification
13. Copies of Birth certificates, marriage license, etc.
14. Reference letters-Notarized for each reference-4 personal reference letters, plus Joseph and David's teachers
15. Autobiography of each spouse (that was fun:) Ours were 4 pages each.
16. Other forms requiring signature for agreements/compliance with requirements/regulations.
17. Adoption Learning Partners Online courses (3 courses -1 of these being 19 chapters)
18. Attend UAB Adoption Clinic (1 Saturday)
Home Study: China requires 4 face to face interviews with Social worker
For us, we were able to count our first visit to the Adoption agency since we met and talked with a social worker. The other 3 meetings were done in our home and lasted approximately 2.5 hours each.
Dossier: All of these documents must be less than 6 months old when they reach the Chinese Consulate. All documents must be Certified (state official documents), or Notarized-All notaries must then be certified by the county commissioned. All documents must be Authenticated by the State of origin. Then we'll use a courier to get these approved by the Chinese consulate, THEN THEY'LL BE SENT TO CHINA!
Clearance with US Dept of Homeland Security this took about 4-6 weeks from start to finish and included another set of fingerprints.
Certified Marriage Certificate (NOT MARRIAGE LICENSE! Didn't know we didn't have one till now) (MS)
Certified Birth Certificates (MS & TN)
The documents below sent to AL Sec of State- currently
Medical Exams (Again-no insurance didn't pay for the second physical or the blood work with this one)
Certificate of Profession (Again, must obtain from employer)
Certificate of No Occupation (for me)
Financial statement (updated)
Adoption Application
Police Background Check (so we've cleared AL, cleared US Department of Homeland Security-but lets just check with the county to be sure...)
Homestudy (have notarized and authenticated)
Photographs (home inside and out, child's room, family, passport pictures of each spouse $$,)
Copies of passports for traveling parents
After we approved by the Chinese Consulate, we will then begin looking at referrals for available children. We'll have 72 hours to have what information we have about the child reviewed at UAB international clinic, and then accept or reject that referral. If we do not accept a referral, then we will not be able to consider that child again. After we accept the child, then I am not sure what has to happen, but I know that we will begin making the travel plans very soon.
So for now, we are just trying to get all of this finalized and sent off! We are starting on room arrangements/painting, and before long, need to apply for the boys' passports.
I hope this post is helpful to some. And hopefully it will explain why people going through this process may seem to be overwhelmed at times, considering that most of us already have full lives, and staying on top of this has seemed like an extra part time job over the past few months. But we know it is going to be well worth the effort when we finally get to bring home our daughter!!!
Amy
